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Every human dreams of flying, but not with wings, because that looks exhausting. Add me to the weekly newsletter. Also follow us on Facebook , because our page makes a great "just got walked in on while watching porn" cut-to. The clear upside of the Autoblow is that it finally takes masturbation out of your hands. Then rub it aggressively on your crotch for a few minutes. These other methods are like those kitchen gadgets they advertise in infomercials.
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He reached for it, grabbed both together, pulled, and suddenly we had nuclear power, iPhones, and Hot Pockets. It has variable speeds as well, so you can go from lazy Quaalude mumble-munch to Furious 7 Vin Diesel power gulp. Point is, you wrap warm meat around your cyclopean flesh carrot, and strum away like Clapton performing his final concert. Please enter a Username. A dude with his dick in a blowie machine. And you know after the preliminary trials, the whole project is going to be set back when one goes haywire and yanks some volunteer's dick off with such force that it gets javelined across a room and embedded in a brick wall.
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Maybe it's Halloween and you have a pumpkin handy. Will it replace it? I want you to put on your 3D glasses, hop on your hoverboard, and start eating astronaut ice cream, because the future of tugging on your tuber is now. Your hand is one thing in a world of many things. The porcine groin bouquet is a bit sweet and a bit musky -- kind of like what you might expect from a corpse, or a Kardashian when no cameras are around. For you ladies, try to imagine something you really enjoy the feel of, repeatedly and rhythmically working your lady flower.
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Description:Gritty Woman At which point, your only hope is to become turned on by tapeworms. I'm told by our research team that female masturbation is actually a thing these days as well, and has more fans than paddle boarding, so maybe imagine that. I refuse the challenge, because I have masters to bate and a soul that still glows a little when you say nice things to it. You're cleaning your pipes. What would those other things feel like if they were jerking your gherkin? Every human dreams of flying, but not with wings, because that looks exhausting.

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